


hard for me

by twoc9pt6ins



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Cuddling, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mutual Pining, Overthinking, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 00:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoc9pt6ins/pseuds/twoc9pt6ins
Summary: i present you a finished fic aldkdjtaeyong is overthinking again and only dongyoung can give him comfort





	hard for me

**Author's Note:**

> idek what this is laksjd i just wanted to write something
> 
> this is set during smtown in japan hence yuta and doyoung, and taeil and taeyong are roommates
> 
> pls give dotae and nct dream more love!!
> 
> vroom vroom

Knock knock.

Dongyoung is about to enter the first phase of his sleep cycle when he hears the sound of someone knocking on the door to his shared hotel room with Yuta. He looks to his right and sees his hyung has already fallen asleep, leaving him no choice but to get up and check who’s at the door. Dongyoung stands up with a huff and walks to the door sleepily. He checks the time on his phone that he’s using as a flashlight and thinks, “Whatever the cause for this 3:21 AM disturbance should be good.”

He opens the door and is surprised to find a similarly sleepy Taeil in front of him.

“Taeyong can’t sleep and I can feel him worrying about a million things even though he’s not saying anything. I’m going to sleep on your bed. Here’s the keycard to our room. Good night,” Taeil says without waiting for Dongyoung to acknowledge him. He proceeds to enter Yuta and Dongyoung’s room and flops down on the latter’s bed. Sleep takes Taeil easily.

Dongyoung is left confused in front of the room’s entrance. He stares at Taeil’s sleeping form lying comfortably on his bed— his former bed. Once his sleep deprived brain finally understood all that Taeil said, Dongyoung closed the door to the room gently and walked to where Taeyong was. If Dongyoung was going to be honest, he was incredibly happy to be able to spend the night with Taeyong. Albeit the reason for this was Taeyong’s overthinking which always worried him, he was still glad because it meant being near the older boy. And besides, they both slept better when they’re next to each other— a fact they both shyly confessed the last time they slept on the same bed.

Dongyoung reached the door to Taeil and Taeyong’s room and used the keycard given to him by Taeil without hesitation. He knew Taeyong wouldn’t be bothered by his sudden appearance. Despite the older boy’s insistence to always abide by the rules and conditions given by the company so as to set a good example, he knew Taeyong was willing to go against them if it was for Dongyoung.

“Hyung? Where did you go?” Taeyong asked as the person— whom he thought was Taeil, entered the dark room.

Dongyoung couldn’t stop the fond smile that spread across his face as he listened to Taeyong’s voice. The boy was still clearly awake but was also obviously very tired. Dongyoung walked over to Taeyong without a word, going past Taeil’s empty bed without a second thought and getting into Taeyong’s occupied bed confidently. Taeyong smelled the familiar and comforting scent of Dongyoung before he felt him slide next to him on his bed. Taeyong loved the way Dongyoung smelled because it reminded him of warmth and serenity.

“Dongyoung? What are you doing here?” Taeyong asked. He wasn’t complaining though. In fact as soon as he felt Dongyoung’s presence, he was filled with both a sense of calmness and excitement. This mix of juxtaposed feelings was not new to him as he always felt it whenever Dongyoung was around.

“Taeil hyung said you couldn’t sleep. What’s wrong, hyung?” Dongyoung’s voice, whenever he speaks to Taeyong, is soft and patient. Most members have noticed this and brought it up multiple times, especially during moments when Dongyoung would nag them.

“Do you really want to know, Dongyoungie?” Taeyong knows he doesn’t have to ask that but still does just to assure himself that Dongyoung will always be willing to listen to him.

“Hyung, the day I stop to care is the day I give up on music. Tell me,” says Dongyoung while looking at Taeyong.

“What if we can’t make it, Dongyoungie?”

For a moment Dongyoung thought Taeyong meant the two of them when he said “we”. He felt hopeful for a split second that maybe the other boy felt more for him too. However, Dongyoung realized the idea of Taeyong liking him back was absurd. Pushing his selfish thoughts aside, Dongyoung understood that Taeyong was talking about their group.

“Then we don’t, hyung.”

Taeyong is stunned at Dongyoung’s answer. He looks at the younger boy intently, waiting for him to continue.

“We’re doing our best, hyung. Everyone in the group is. But there are so many other things that aren’t in our control: how people see us, what the company plans for us, how the industry will change over time. I wish as much as you, hyung that we can control all these things too but we can’t.” There is both fear and confidence in Dongyoung’s voice as he spoke.

Taeyong understood what he meant and he knows he’s right. But Taeyong wishes so much that he could control everything so he can make sure everyone’s dreams become reality; may it be personal or for the whole group.

“But what do we do if we don’t make it?” Dongyoung hears the underlying message in Taeyong’s question. Taeyong acts confident in front of the world, but Dongyoung knows the truth about his insecurities, especially the ones concerning his leadership.

“I don’t know for sure, hyung. Maybe we follow our other dreams. You know Youngho hyung could pursue photography. Donghyuckie could become a variety show host. And the kids, they’re young. They’ll find their other passions along the way. Or maybe we live lives away from the spotlight, hyung. We can never know for sure. But I think that as long as we support each other, we’ll be okay,” Dongyoung says. 

He’s looking at Taeyong and smiling. He wants Taeyong to know and feel that it’s okay not to know. It’s okay not to be sure of the future because he’s always going to be around. They can figure out the future together when it comes.

Dongyoung continues, “And hyung if we don’t make it, it doesn’t mean you’re not a good leader. Because you are. Don’t measure your worth to our success. We’ll be okay, hyung because we have you as our leader and we have each other.”

On any other day and with any other person, Dongyoung would have cringed at all that he’s said. But it’s nearing 4 AM, he’s tired and he’s put all his defenses down. He’s also with Taeyong and he knows the other boy needs the assurance.

“When did get you so wise, Dongyoungie?” Taeyong feels so much lighter and his eyes start to close.

“I’m not wise, hyung,” Dongyoung says with a chuckle. “I’m smart but not wise.” Dongyoung watches as Taeyong tries to keep his eyes open. It’s been a while since they last shared a bed and both boys want to make the most out of the night— or early morning. Sleep was less of a priority compared to sharing these moments with each other.

“Taeyongie hyung, close your eyes.”

Instead of doing so, Taeyong opens his eyes and stares at Dongyoung. Lately, he hasn’t had the chance to look at Dongyoung like this, so closely and without Dongyoung shying away from him. How can he when their arms are wrapped around each other and their legs entwined, with Taeyong’s head laying on Dongyoung’s chest. Once Taeyong is sure he’s engraved Dongyoung’s beautiful face in his mind enough to last him the night, he closes his eyes and whispers, “Good night, Dongyoungie.”

“Good night, Taeyongie hyung,” Dongyoung responds.

As Taeyong allows himself to be pulled away by sleep, he hears Dongyoung start to sing softly. Taeyong used to always ask Dongyoung to sing for him when they first started to sleep on the same bed. But now, Dongyoung does it on his own willingly. Taeyong falls asleep, with a smile on his face, to the sound of Dongyoung’s voice.

It’s hard for me to forget you  
How can the memories be easily forgotten?  
It’s hard for me to hate you  
How can I hate you?

**Author's Note:**

> arrgghhh i’m sorry for making you read this mess
> 
> pls hmu on twitter @jihoonjihooff if u need to gush over dotae w someone : (  
> also i’m running out of ideas so send me prompts pls akdjdj
> 
> vroom vroom


End file.
